How to manage your child’s screen time.

We’ve been fortunate to learn many of our parenting techniques from our parents and those that raised us. Whether it’s dealing with your child’s first cold, teething, tantrums, non-stop crying or whatever the situation is, our parents always seemed to have the answers. When it comes to technology though and how we manage usage with our children, we are in uncharted territory. We lived much of our childhood without cell phones, tablets, computers and the internet. Most of us grew up with only one or two T.V.’s in the house and only three channels. If you were lucky, you might have had an Atari or Nintendo to share with your siblings but most of us still preferred to be outside with friends, so screen time wasn’t really an issue. The fact is, when it comes to managing our children’s screen time, our parents don’t have the answers (and sometimes are enablers), so it’s up to us.

If you are a parent, I have no doubt this is a topic of conversation in your household. It starts as just a few innocent minutes of watching videos on your phone while you shop for groceries, fold laundry or make dinner. Next thing you know they have a Kindle with YouTube, Roblox and full internet capabilities, a Nintendo Switch with Minecraft and various other games, and they can navigate around Netflix and Disney+ better than you can. This all leads to arguments over screen time. They want more, you want them to have less.

I’m not a child psychologist, but I’ve been a parent long enough now to know that our kids need structure and will work well within a structure when properly managed. That means that parents have to stay disciplined and work within the structure as well or it won’t work. Consistency is the key and that can be the hard part for parents because of all the other life challenges we’re faced with.

So how can you create a structure that will help you manage your child’s screen time? There really isn’t one right answer. In fact, there are many ways you can do this that would probably work and maybe you’ve already discovered one of those ways that’s successful for you. For those that haven’t, and for those that may also struggle with getting your kids to stay active or do chores around the house, here is a structure that has worked well for our family and it’s pretty simple:

Monday - Thursday: No Kindle, Youtube or Video Games. 30 minutes of TV time before leaving for school in the morning and just before bed, each day. Options for TV time include a list of pre-approved shows either on cable, Netflix or Disney+.

Friday (after school) - Sunday: An allotment of two hours of screen time to be used over the weekend (total - not each day) in addition to TV time in the morning and before bed each day.

Opportunities to earn more time - We’ve instituted a bonus plan where you can earn more screen time when you do a chore or when you do something active. We created a list of chores we post on our fridge that include tasks like dusting, vacuuming, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the room, cleaning the bathroom etc.. Something active can be walking the dog, riding the spin bike, going for a walk or bike ride or shooting hoops in the front driveway. We will often times add screen time to reward unsolicited good behavior and take it away if there is a discipline issue.

As you can see it’s not rocket science, but I can tell you that it works! Because it is a clearly laid out structure and all parties understand, we have eliminated the daily arguments and debates over screen time. As I mentioned before, the hardest part is really staying disciplined as a parent and managing the structure. If you start to allow extra screen time during the week that wasn’t earned or fail to add time when it was earned, the structure begins to fall apart, and it won’t be successful. Give it a try and see if it works!

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