Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, which means you’re probably in the midst of searching for that perfect gift for the lady in your life. For as long as I can remember, ads and commercials have told us that roses and chocolates are the fastest way to a woman’s heart. In fact, roses and chocolates have become synonymous with Valentine’s Day. But is that really what moms want? Is that what any woman wants? I asked this question to a handful of women, mostly moms, and their answers may surprise you.

The truth is, not one woman I asked said they want to receive roses or chocolates as a gift from their loved one on Valentine’s Day. Those that are moms were even more passionately against the idea of roses or chocolates being gifted as a sign of the love and appreciation we as men are supposed to show them on Valentine’s Day. When you think of it that way, they are right. To think our gratitude for all they do for us, our kids, our life and our lifestyle, boils down to a dozen roses and a heart shaped box of chocolates is pretty silly. Whether you like it or not, Valentine’s Day, like Mother’s Day, is a day for us dads to recognize and celebrate the role that our significant others play in our lives and the lives of our children.

So, what do mom’s REALLY want for Valentine’s Day? There were three common answers I received from the women I questioned. The most common answer was alone time with the house all to themselves with no responsibilities. That may be a surprise to some of you out there who think moms want even more of our attention on that day. That’s not necessarily the case. There were a few caveats included. First, they didn’t want to be left alone ALL day, so don’t start booking a weekend vacation for you and the kids. Second, they don’t want to miss out on a fun family activity, so don’t take the kids to that new attraction you’ve talked about going to as a family for the past several months and leave mom behind.

The second was something homemade from the kids, such as a Valentine’s Day related craft or card. This gesture shows a little planning and effort from dad because you typically have to help come up with the idea, gather the materials, and find time to work on it when mom is not around. The craft or card, and the gesture from dad means a lot.

The third item was a home cooked meal, cooked by dad. Anything you can do to take away the day-to-day household chores that may fall on mom’s plate on this special day, in addition to cooking dinner, is a great idea. So, how do we package this all together into the perfect gift? Try this:

On Saturday, the day before Valentine’s Day, knock out all of the household chores - cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, dishes, etc., leaving nothing left to be done the next day. On the morning of Valentine’s Day, wake up early and get the kids dressed and fed. Put on a full pot of coffee and prepare breakfast for mom. Have the kids wake her up and deliver breakfast and coffee. Then head out of the house with the kids in tow. Go visit Grandma or do that activity that you know mom doesn’t care for, get groceries for the week, make the Target and Costco run, and then take the kids to lunch. After you’ve given mom plenty of alone time, come back mid-afternoon. Have the kids present the card or craft they custom made for mom (check out our Arts and Crafts with Teacher Toni feature for an idea), along with a gift from you. Wrap up the day by cooking her favorite meal for dinner, manage getting the kids showered and put to bed, and finish the night with her favorite dessert and a glass of wine.

If you choose to purchase a gift, here are ten suggestions I received:

• Teaspressa DIY Mimosa Cocktail kit - Link

• Bombas socks - Link

• Kina Ceramics Finger Mug - Link

• Huggaroo Neck Wrap - Link

• Homesick Candle - Link

• L.L.Bean Robe - Link

• Oak and Luna Custom Necklace - Link

• Victoria Secret Satin Pajamas - Link

• Photo Book from Mixbook - Link

• Wine Subscription from Bright Cellars - Link

So, take advice from these brew city moms and skip the flowers and roses this year. Give them a day to themselves, free from the responsibilities of day-to-day life, with a little love from you and the kids sprinkled in, and your Valentine’s Day will be a success. Good luck!